An Unforgettable Moment

If you have a child with special needs you will never forget the moment that you learned your life would change forever.  For me, that moment came 21 years ago when my daughter was 5 days old.  She had been in a coma for two days and was in neonatal ICU fighting for her life.  Her doctor came to us and explained that our baby had a rare, life-threatening, incurable metabolic disorder!

Our sweet Melissa the day she was born.

Like every other parent hearing a similar diagnosis, I was stunned.  My wife Kathy had an easy pregnancy and there was no history of similar disorders in either of our families.  We were taken totally by surprise.  We were also first-time parents and understandably nervous, but our uncertainty quickly turned into confusion, fear and ultimately anger. Neither of us knew anything about medical procedures or management of complex diseases -- so how could we care for this sick child?  The news also shook our Christian faith.  Had we done something wrong and was God punishing us? We took comfort in the words of Mother Teresa who said ..."God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try."  And try we did.

This was the beginning of a personal journey.  So long ago there was little advice available to help me find my way.  Even today there is a void.  While there are many books, articles and even blogs written about parenting special needs children -- these are written by talented, dedicated women and I find that they typically offer a mother's perspective. 

In future posts I will explore those emotions and how they impacted my marriage, my lifestyle, my career, and my future. Some topics will be challenging, but challenges are what special needs children are all about.

Let us make this an interactive forum.  I challenge you to participate in this discussion by sharing your own personal views and experiences.  Together we can become better fathers for our special kids.

PEACE